By Brian Tracy

You get more out of your relationships with others — more easily — by not approaching them directly. It’s because of something called the Law of Indirect Effort.

For example, if you want to impress someone, the direct way to do it is to point out your admirable qualities and accomplishments. But talking about yourself usually makes you feel a little foolish. (And sometimes embarrassed.)

The indirect way to impress another person is simply to be impressed by him. The more impressed you are — by who he is or what he has accomplished — the more impressed he will be by you.

If you want to get someone interested in you, the direct way is to tell him all about yourself. But the indirect way works better. Simply become interested in him. The more interested you become in him, the more interested he will become in you.

If you want to be happy, the direct way is to do things that will make you happy. However, the most enjoyable and lasting form of happiness comes from making someone else happy. It’s the Law of Indirect Effort at work again. When you do or say anything that makes someone else happy, you feel happy yourself. You boost your own spirits, your own self-esteem.

How do you get another person to respect you? The best way is to respect him. When you demonstrate respect or admiration for another person, he feels respect and admiration for you. Sociologists call this the Principle of Reciprocity. When you do something nice for someone else, that person will want to reciprocate by doing something nice for you. (Most romances and friendships are based on this principle.)

How do you get a person to believe in you? The answer is to believe in him. By showing that you have confidence in him, he will have confidence in you too.

You get what you give. What you send out, you get back.

The most important application of the Law of Indirect Effort has to do with developing a healthy personality. You are structured in such a way that everything you do to someone else has a reciprocal effect on you. Everything you do to raise the self-esteem of another person raises your own self-esteem — at the same time and in the same measure. Since self-esteem is the hallmark of a healthy personality, you can actually improve the health of your own personality by taking every opportunity to improve the health of the personalities of others.

What you sow in the lives of others, you reap in your own life.

Everyone you meet is carrying a heavy load. This is especially true in the area of self-esteem and self-confidence. Everyone grows up with the need to be praised and recognized. No matter how successful or how elevated people become, they still need to have their self-images reinforced.

There is a line that says, “I like you because of the way I feel about myself when I am with you.” This line contains the key to human relations. The happiest men and women are those who make other people feel good about themselves when they are with them.

When you go through life raising the self-esteem of others, opportunities will open up. And people will help you in ways you cannot now imagine. So take every opportunity to say and do things that make other people feel more valuable. Each time you express a kindness toward another person, your own self-esteem improves. Your own personality becomes more positive and healthy.

The way to raise the self-esteem of others is simply to make them feel important. Everything you do or say that makes another person feel more important boosts his self-esteem at the same time.

When you practice the Law of Indirect Effort — going through your day looking for ways to make others feel important — you will be popular and welcome everywhere. You will be healthier and happier. You will get more real satisfaction from life. You will have lower levels of stress and higher levels of energy. You will experience greater peace of mind. Above all, you will genuinely like and respect yourself.

This article appears courtesy of Early To Rise, a free newsletter dedicated to making money, improving health and secrets to success. For a complimentary subscription, visit http://www.earlytorise.com.

By Robert Ringer

It’s a serious mistake to allow yourself to get caught up in the “what-if” and “how-to” trap before taking action. The reality is that no one can ever hope to know all the problems in advance, let alone all the solutions.

Further, most of the things people worry about never even come to pass. Or, if they do, they end up being not nearly as bad as envisioned. Even better, some of the most minatory circumstances often turn out to be nothing more than disguises for great opportunities.

I thought about this a couple of weeks ago when my son asked me to take him to a University of Maryland football game on a perfect-weather Saturday.

It was quite a request, considering:

1. I had never been to Maryland’s Byrd Stadium, and was not certain how to get there.
2. I estimated that the University was at least an hour away in modest traffic.
3. It would take us about an hour to get ready to leave the house.
4. It was 10:00 a.m. — two hours before kickoff.
5. We had no tickets.

Nevertheless, seeing a chance to be anointed Father of the Week, I replied, without hesitation, “Sure. Let’s do it.”

Some might call this impulsive. Others might refer to it as abject stupidity. I would argue that a fair and enlightened individual would recognize it as nothing more than temporary insanity.

But something just felt right about it. It was a beautiful, sunny day. I felt like I could run a marathon backward. And I saw it as one of those great Steve Martin-type bonding opportunities (as in Father of the Bride).

We pulled out of the driveway at 11:00 a.m., an hour before game time. Surprisingly, traffic was light, even as we began to near the campus. Even more surprising, the stadium came into view about 40 minutes after we left the house. I still haven’t figured out how that was mathematically possible.

Now for the not-so-small matter of parking. Cars were jammed into every square inch of space on the side of every road anywhere within sight of the stadium, so I frantically looked for a parking garage. But before I could locate one, would you believe that a parking space suddenly appeared on the side of the road — about a five-minute walk from the stadium?

After I parked the car, my son and I jumped out and joined the crowd walking toward Byrd Stadium. At this point, I was thinking what a shame it would be if it were a sellout and we’d have to turn around and go home.

Amazingly, however, as we approached the front gate, two men were standing right in front of us, one of them holding up a pair of tickets. He said they were his season tickets, but that he was going to be sitting elsewhere with his friend that day, so he just wanted to “get rid of them.”

He told me they were on the 50-yard line, and I braced myself for his asking price — $75? $100? $150? Another surprise: Almost apologetically, he asked if $20 a ticket sounded reasonable to me. I refrained from hugging him, and quickly peeled off two $20 bills from the cash stash in my pocket.

Thus far, I had been wrong about every dire thought that had crossed my mind before agreeing to take my son to the game. But I felt certain I would be right about one thing: No way was I holding 50-yard-line seats in my hand. Scalpers are hardworking entrepreneurs, but they have been known to shade the truth a bit.

Surprise again: Our seats were, indeed, smack-dab on the 50!

At halftime, since we hadn’t had time to eat lunch before leaving the house, we were starving. Perusing the menu board at a garbage… er, concession… stand, it became evident that our substitute lunch was going to be a hotdog, an ice cream sandwich, and a Pepsi.

To avoid apoplexy, I reminded myself that what we were about to eat was at least healthier than cyanide-laced Kool-Aid… though not by much. Besides, the dogs were only $2.50 apiece, which wouldn’t even buy you a bun at a pro football game.

After we finished “lunch,” we stopped by one of the restrooms for a little relief. How pleasant. It made the restrooms at Washington, DC’s RFK Stadium look like the Ritz-Carlton. Shows how easy it is to please college kids.

The bottom line is that it was a great day, a day when everything that seemed like a problem ended up being a plus. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that things turned out so well, because I’ve witnessed the playing out of this type of scenario so often over the years.

The moral is that when you really want to do something — but are apprehensive because you see so many “problems” on the horizon — do it anyway! Don’t worry about it. You won’t bat 1,000 percent. But if you continually fail to take action, you’re guaranteed to bat zero.

And even when things don’t work out, you’ll find that, in a vast majority of cases, the fallout won’t be nearly as bad as you’d imagined.

The many wonderful, unexpected things that will come into your life as a result of taking action will more than offset any pain you might endure from your few missteps.

This article appears courtesy of Early To Rise, a free newsletter dedicated to making money,improving health and secrets to success. For a complimentary subscription, visit http://www.earlytorise.com.

I would like to share an email that I received from Fred Gleeck.  Fred Gleeck is an internet marketer and provides newsletters on marketing.  I am posting the portion of the email for your reading and benefit as it provides a good insight on purpose.

Advice from a C.E.O.

So I’m traveling from Columbus to Dallas on yet another American Airlines flight and I’m seated in the back row of first class. First class because I fly enough that my upgrades are FREE and the back row because on an odd numbered flight I get to choose my meal first.

I get to talking to the guy next to me and he’s a C.E.O at a company called Sterling Commerce.  A $700 Million subsidiary of AT&T. They operate in 40 countries and they have a LOT of employees.

Or at least a LOT compared to MY company. That would be just me! 

As we are talking I’m doing my traditional thing. I basically end up interviewing people like him informally.

I find out that he started his career with I.B.M. At IBM they would always have you ask yourself the questions: What? Why? How?

Before we get to that he tells me about how he runs his business. He gets his direct reports together and goes through their list of “to-dos” with them. When he hears their list he then asks them to cut the number  of priorities in half. Take only the most important 50% of the list.

After doing that, he asks them to cut them again and AGAIN! Until everyone is down to just 2 or 3 things max. He then tells people to “gray out” – on their computers, all of the other tasks they had written down.

He’s nice enough to go through that same exercise with me. On my computer sits a file I call my “BIG PIC”. It has all of my important stuff to do and various key contacts and info that I might need all in one text file.

On the VERY top of my Big Pic file sits a list, very similar to the list that his employees come to him with.

My list as we speak is this:

• Fred Radio Show
• Finish writing my new Info Product Marketing Book
• Rewrite my existing books
• My seminars and bootcamps
• Speak more at other people’s events
• Do more Coaching
• Write a song
• Write my Screenplay that I’ve almost outlined
• Take a Documentary Film Class
• Reading
• Writing

I read the list out to him. He then tells me to pick the TWO most important ones. As it turns out, mine are the two at the top of the page. He says: “OK, now spend all of your time working on the top two. BUT, on your calendar at some reasonable time in the future put a note on a specific date to see if you can PROMOTE one of the grayed out items.

When I complete the one of the top two I can then promote one of the other items which has been grayed out.

But, he’s not done with me yet.

He asks me WHAT I want. I tell him that I want to: NET $1 million a year with no employees. He then asks me:

WHY? I tell him so that I can be completely debt free including EVERY asset I have including mortgages.

He keeps drilling down deeper and asks: why that? I tell him because I want to live a relaxed, stress free life and only work with clients I LOVE.

Again: WHY?

My answer to this drilling down ends with the same results of the exercise I do at virtually all my events. Although for some reason I did NOT do this exercise in Columbus this last Sunday when I spoke.

The answer is to live my ideal day, every day which consists of:

Getting to:

• Read every day for an hour or so minimum
• Watch a movie everyday
• Play with my dogs everyday
• Have a massage every day – real person or a machine
• Exercise aerobically for 30-60 minutes
• Spend quality time relaxing/talking/hanging out with friends/family

What? Net $1miillion a year

Why? So I can live my ideal day every day

How? Finish and publish my book and get a radio show

I’m glad I struck up a conversation with him!

BTW, we started speaking because I saw him reading a book by Wally Lamb called “The Hour I First Believed”.

What? A business guy, reading fiction? Isn’t that a criminal offense in some States? You would think so from the way some business people respond.

After showing him my Kindle and having him assure me that he’d be getting one I then asked him if he reads any non-fiction business books. He says: NEVER!

A C.E.O. of a major company NOT reading any business how-to books? Should he be arrested?

According to him, he doesn’t need to. It all comes down to: What? Why? How?

If you think about it, this makes a LOT of sense. Will I stop reading business books. Nope. But, I will take to heart his lesson of doing just 2 things and GRAYING out everything else.

There you have it.  What do you think?

By Brian Tracy

In 1970, sociologist Dr. Edward Banfield of Harvard University wrote a book entitled The Unheavenly City. He described one of the most profound studies on success and priority-setting ever conducted.
Banfield’s goal was to find out how and why some people become financially independent during the course of their working lifetimes. He started off convinced that the answer to this question would be found in such things as family background, education, intelligence, influential contacts, or some other concrete factor. What he finally discovered was that the major reason for success in life is a particular attitude of mind.

Banfield called this attitude “long time perspective.” He said that people who were the most successful in life and the most likely to move up economically were those who took the future into consideration with every decision they made in the present. He found that the longer the period of time a person took into consideration, the more likely it was that he would achieve greatly during his career.

Doctors, for example, invest many years of hard work and study to finally earn the right to practice medicine. After university courses, internship, residency, and practical training, they may be more than 30 years old before they are capable of earning a good living. But from that point onward, they are among the most respected and most successful professionals in the United States. They had long time perspectives.

If you take additional courses in the evening to upgrade your skills and make yourself more valuable to your employer, you’re acting with a long time perspective. Because it can have a long-term effect on your career and your life.

The key to setting priorities is to have a long time perspective – and that usually requires sacrificing present enjoyment for future enjoyment. It requires giving up a short-term pleasure in the present in order to enjoy a far greater and more substantial pleasure in the future. And it begins with deciding what you want most in life and then organizing your time and activities so you can achieve those objectives.

With your larger, long-term priorities in order, you can much more easily decide upon your short-term priorities.

Setting short-term priorities begins with a pad of paper and a pen. Sit down, take a deep breath, and list all the tasks you need to accomplish. Although there is never enough time to do everything, there is always enough time to do the most important things.
Once you have listed your tasks, ask yourself this question: “If I were to be called out of town for a month and I could finish only one thing on this list, which one thing would it be?” Think it through, and circle that one item. Then ask yourself: “If I could do only one more thing before I was called out of town for a month, what would it be?” This is the second thing you circle.

Continue with this exercise until you have sorted out the highest priorities on your list. Then number each according to its importance. You are now ready to begin working effectively toward the achievement of your major goals.

Another good way to set priorities once you have determined your major objectives is with the A-B-C-D-E method. You place one of those letters in the margin before each of the tasks on your list.

• “A” stands for “very important; must do; severe negative consequences if not completed.”
• “B” stands for “important; should do; but not as important as my ‘A’ tasks, and only minor negative consequences if not completed.”
• “C” stands for “nice to do; but not as important as ‘A’ or ‘B,’ and no negative consequences for not completing.”
• “D” stands for “delegate or assign to someone else who can do the task in my place.”
• “E” stands for “eliminate if possible.”

When you use the A-B-C-D-E method, you can easily sort out what is important and unimportant. This will focus your time and attention on those tasks that are most essential.

Once you can clearly see the one or two things that you should be doing above all others, just say no to diversions and distractions and focus single-mindedly on those priorities.

Much of the stress that people experience comes from working on low-priority tasks. The amazing thing is that as soon as you start working on your highest-value activity, your stress disappears. You begin to feel a continuous stream of energy and enthusiasm. As you work toward the completion of something that is really important, you feel an increased sense of personal value and inner satisfaction. You experience a sensation of self-mastery and self-control. You feel calm, confident, and capable.

Here are six ideas that you can use to set priorities and keep yourself working at your best:

1. Take the time to be clear about your goals and objectives so that the priorities you set are moving you in the direction of something that is of value to you. Remember that many people scramble frantically to climb the ladder of success, only to find that it is leaning against the wrong building.
2. Develop a long time perspective and work on those things in the present that can have the greatest positive impact on your future. Maintain your balance in life by setting priorities in the areas of your health, your personal relationships, and your financial goals.
3. Make the commitment to improve those aspects of your life that are most important to you. If you’re in sales, learn how to be an excellent salesperson. If you’re a parent, learn how to be an outstanding mother or father. The power is always on the side of the person with the best practical knowledge.
4. Take the time to do your work right the first time. The fewer mistakes you make, the less time you will waste doing it over.
5. Remember that what counts is not the overall amount of time you put in. Rather, it’s the amount of time you spend working on high-priority tasks. You will always be paid for the results you obtain, not merely the hours you spend on the job.
6. Understand that the most important factor in setting priorities is your ability to make wise choices. You are always free to choose to engage in one activity or another. You may choose a higher-value activity or a lower-value activity, but once you have chosen, you must accept the consequences of your choice.

Resolve, today, to set clear priorities in every area of your life, and always choose the activities that will assure you the greatest health, happiness, and prosperity in the long term. The long term comes soon enough, and every sacrifice that you make today will be rewarded with compound interest in the great future that lies ahead for you.

[Ed. Note: Brian Tracy is one of America's leading authorities on the development of human potential and personal effectiveness. With Brian's Ultimate Goal Achieving Package, you can discover a simple and easy-to-learn way to get everything you want out of life. Learn more here.]